After hundreds of programs worked, my financial situation should have already improved considerably. The worst thing is, it's even more miserable than when I started. I can barely scrape together a few euros to pay for my Netflix subscription. Embarrassing!
On March 21st, I'm participating in Georgeta Sultan's Theta meditation for the New Moon. I'll be taking the Advanced, Dig Deeper, and "You and the Creator" courses with her, so it's a good opportunity to participate and get to know her. The meditation is extraordinary, it lasts an hour and a half. The phenomenal feeling of being in the Theta state for that long.
Part of the meditation is unloading the feeling of forgiveness and then calling in front of your mind's eye, one by one, three people who have wronged us and to whom we must ask for forgiveness, not the other way around. The idea is that we create our lives through our thoughts, and if those people have wronged us, something in us caused them to behave the way they did.
One of the people is my husband. I ask him with all my heart for forgiveness for the sometimes tense situation between us, the situation generated by the fact that I give too much time to the child and not enough to him as a husband. He is a good and patient man, I understand him but sometimes I can't help myself. The discussions between us on this topic sometimes become tense.
The day after the meditation, with a heavy heart, I feel the need to tell him what I did in the meditation and to ask for forgiveness face to face. We talk for about 2-3 hours continuously, during which I have a major awareness related to money. I realize why I am doing so poorly. I am so attached to money and my energy has become so masculine in my desperation that I have reached the situation where I don't even have money and my relationship with my husband is tense.
3 years ago a friend sent me an article about the importance of a dress for a woman's energy. My relationship with my husband was good, but without artifice. I often felt that the animals in the yard received more affection than I did. I was a partner to him and that was it, not a feminine wife with complementary energy. He respected me and cared for me within the limits of a partnership. He helped me, took care of the house and the child, but as I said, without that dose of passion present in some couples. Until I received the article with the dress, I thought that was his nature and that was it. I had a normal relationship in my mind.
The article with the dresses made me realize that I only have a small amount of feminine energy, that I am a partner for my husband, not a feminine wife, and I decided to make a change. From that moment on, I gave up pants for good and only wore dresses. That summer was MAGICAL!!! I watched like an idiot as he followed me around the yard, as he couldn't keep his hands off me...and as I materialized money with phenomenal ease and relaxation. I was grateful for what I was receiving and my life was extraordinary. In 2 weeks I managed to collect a third of the cost of a very large bank of lithium batteries and help with their purchase in the household.
And the summer passed... and winter and the following year I came across Denise Duffield Thomas's books, books that told me about money-related blockages, about an extraordinary life as a rich person, about the easy materialization of huge sums of money, much larger than those I was used to. The idea of a house on the Costa del Sol began to sprout in my mind. I started to want money, more and more money...
I was no longer satisfied, nor grateful and money started to decrease constantly from then on. I work hard, enormously, I think and implement project after project, all with potential and all of them go miserably. Because I am tense, stressed, I no longer enjoy money, I want more and more.
The more attached I am, the less I have...
And besides, my relationship with my husband has deteriorated in the last two years. That magical summer is over and yesterday my husband told me that he no longer feels feminine but like a partner in the house again. The light bulb went on!!!
The second chakra is not only the chakra of sexuality but also of money. Area 6 of the energy-informational matrix in numerology is not only of finances...but also of relationships, of sexuality. Ding! Ding! Ding! I am a partner for my husband and I lost my femininity when I decided that I was no longer satisfied with my money but wanted much more, when I forgot to relax and be grateful, when I became too masculine again.
The discussion with my husband opened my mind and I realized where I had lost my way. We decided together that it was time to make a change...not in money but in attitude. To be happy with the money he earns, to ask him with confidence, to appreciate what he does for us and to focus on the relationship, not on the money. Then my money will come...I'm sure of it. When I detach myself from this desperate desire to have money.
This morning, I received a proposal to promote one of my books for free and two of the human resources courses that I saw that someone had already signed up for. And, yes, I did everything relaxed. Today I planted parsley, carrots and potatoes in the garden and I stopped stressing about money.
I'm focusing on the relationship, on recovering the lost feminine energy and the money will come by itself :)
That's about it for now,
Geo
