March 10, 2023 - Love, family, wife vs. mother

 

I was getting ready to start the article with the phrase "It's hard to be both a mother and a wife"... and I forgot that I'm starting with a restrictive schedule and you can see from one post where the problem is. Since our son came, the role of wife has taken second place and that of mother has become the most important. The most helpless and the one who screams the loudest wins. And the husband endured a year, endured two, three... around the fifth he couldn't stand it anymore and started screaming too... what about him when I have time? And I put my hands on my head and, broken from fatigue, I started crying... how can I thank everyone when I'm the only one? I was fed up with discussions, I was already like a hedgehog when I saw my husband with his ass up. I knew there was another round coming...

Then I understood that he was right too...and the child can wipe his own bottom at 5 years old, excuse the expression, take his own food if it is cooked and put on the table...and so on...and I have to start tipping the scales in favor of the husband. There are families that have unfortunately fallen apart because of this problem. I am lucky to have an understanding and patient husband. I agree with him that I have to let the "chick" start learning to fly. He is no longer a helpless baby.

Now, more than 4 years after the husband's first cries of despair, things have settled down, but everything is still not rosy. I started to identify limiting programs related to life as a wife, the relationship as a couple, and love. There are few, but I have started to deal with this area as well. I wrote them as they came to me, I tested them, I don't have them all, but the vast majority are there:

It's hard to be both a mother and a wife

It's a sin to make love

You only make love to make children

It's permissible to make love to make children

It's dangerous to make love

It's unpleasant to make love

It's hard to be satisfied when you make love

It's a sin to make love for pleasure

It's a joy to make love

It's a pleasure to make love

It's satisfying to make love

After you have children, it's useless to make love

After you have children, it's a sin to make love

After you have children, it's a sin to make love

After you have children, it's tiring to make love

After you have children, it's a waste of time to make love

After you have children, it's not appropriate to make love anymore

After a certain age, it's not appropriate to make love anymore

It's a shame to make love

Contraceptives cut your libido

If you are a mother, you are also a good lover

You can be both your husband's lover and a good mother

If you are a mother, it is a shame to make love again

If you are a mother, it is a shame to make love again

Fortunately, I did not identify all of them for myself, I have given you the whole list, maybe it will help you. I have worked on the identified ones in half, and I will work on the rest in the following days or when I get a few moments of peace.