2000 euros later I choose the path of giving up

 

I've been working intensely with myself for years, in the last two years I've also invested money. I've also invested a little in other things, especially in books, but in the last two years, I've invested more intensely. About 2000 euros, maybe even more, in courses, private sessions, meditations and various programs. A lot, a little? A lot for me and for the fact that I left money... with the idea of ​​living better, helping my family more, so that my husband wouldn't have to leave home so much for money. The result: I'm tired of fighting and I'm giving up. There are no notable results. They were short-lived and that's it.

And in addition, someone tells me and shakes me up with the idea - "it's karma, you have to live with this, not everything can be solved, but those who sell you programs won't tell you that". So, I have to stop trying to solve something and I have to live. Period.

I give up everything, especially investing money and time and I choose to live. How can I. I don't fight anymore. I choose apathy and resignation...or better said, vulgar, but I have no other expression, it breaks me completely. Who sent me here to suffer, the fact that I don't have what I want, that I'm tired of pulling and pushing, I no longer connect with any divinity because it doesn't bother me, I no longer bother with gratitude programs. I'm alone here and I do what I can. I rely only on myself. I stop here and what each day brings me, that's it...