March 24, 2023 - wildfire attracted by my fears, I work on programs about courage and safety

 

For 4 years we have been living in a very beautiful area, full of vegetation, on the edge of a village, between plum and apple orchards. Next to our land grows a forest of about 4000 sq m, a forest near which unfortunately the neighbors periodically throw garbage.

Since we moved here I have always been afraid of fires... and the fear materializes. In 2020 the first fire, about 300m from us, extinguished by my husband and a few neighbors - they burned trees and plant debris from a vineyard that someone had cleaned, with flames over 6 meters high. In 2022, the second, about 200m from us, burned dry grass on a portion of about 200 sq m, but the wind was blowing towards us and brought soot and ash into the yard. I was really scared, my husband went out with a neighbor again, but my biggest fear at that time was "what do I do if it happens when I'm home alone?" And, voila! 2 days ago it happened. I was talking to my mom on the phone, I went out into the yard and saw smoke above us, at the end of the forest. This time about 100m away from us. I ran there, someone had set fire to the garbage at the end of the forest, the forest had already caught fire on a portion of about 50 square meters. My heart stopped when I saw it. The forest was full of dry wood, fallen branches and leaves. I saw the flames a few meters away from me. I ran home, called the fire department, they were here in 20 minutes, everything was resolved. But... I lived for half an hour of intense, terrible fear that I felt the energy drain from my body. Things were in my favor - the wind was not blowing, there were also many wet leaves in the woods, winter had just passed, it was not a drought. I had never seen this before... I could only see the flames approaching our house, although they were not yet big, only as big as me... the firefighters told me not to be so scared.

The fear of "enjoying" a fire alone at home was too strong. My legs were shaking, I was like after a fight, exhausted and without energy. I could hardly eat towards the evening.

But I worked in the evening, sitting in bed, programs related to courage and safety, plus responsible neighbors:

"I feel safe here"

"I am surrounded by responsible people and neighbors"

I remember these now because I worked on them without writing them down.

In the morning I woke up much better. The worst part, around 10-11 o'clock I saw smoke again in the orchards above us, much higher this time and I could see what I was feeling. NOTHING! No fear whatsoever...my husband went up to see what it was, it was much higher than us and after about 30 minutes it disappeared, probably someone was burning garbage. The fact that I was no longer afraid and didn't flinch like I usually do is a good sign. Most likely, I won't have the opportunity to see fires again because I'm no longer afraid of them and I don't attract them into my life anymore...