May 7, 2024 - A new project as a freelancer, but difficulties due to my limiting beliefs

 

Today I receive a request to collaborate on a very large project, lasting 4 years. I'm initially very happy, but right when I'm given the first task, a real hurricane starts in our house - the child starts making faces at the laptop, he doesn't feel like leaving the laptop to free up the table for me, his father yells at him, we argue for hours because it's not the first time we've "benefited" from the little one's faces and figures, the child complains towards the evening of terrible pain in the table (anger against his father) and as if that were the case, I'm also informed that the first task in the project is postponed due to some changes requested by the client. Traffic jams with me, do you see them? I work the following programs:

Is such a great job possible for me no

Am I good enough for such a project no

Do I deserve such a project no

Is it a real project no

Is it possible to get such a job no

I am too small and important for such a project no

Is there any way to access something like this as a Romanian no

I will be made to pay high taxes

The authorities will find me and make me pay high taxes

Family is more important than the project and money

I am a mother and can work for such important authorities no

Is there any way to work with such important authorities no

If I earn money my husband will feel offended, useless, incapable

I must first be a mother, not earn money

I must take care of the family, not money

I can have a lot of money no

I deserve to have a lot of money no

If I have a lot of money, I am no longer a mother and wife

I am a nobody

Do I deserve to work for this organization no

I will pay very high taxes if I work for this organization on such a project

My life will be too easy

I will earn money too easily

I deserve to earn money too easily and have an easy life no

I have to work hard

I am a disgrace to my family if I don't work hard

I deserve to be the one chosen no

I can choose my source of income no

I have to be given work no to choose myself

I can be the one who chooses no

I have the right to choose my life and work no

Others control my life

It is normal for others to control my life

Anything is possible in my life no

I have a hard fate

I have a suitable fate

Everything is against me

I am lucky no

I deserve to live easily no

I deserve to earn money easily no

I deserve to be the chosen one no

I deserve to be the favorite no

I deserve to work with the best no

I have to sacrifice for my family

I have to sacrifice for my child

I have to sacrifice for my husband

The needs of my family are more important than mine

The wishes of my family are more important than mine

I can make decisions alone no

I can make decisions without my husband's opinion no

I have to take care of the needs of others first

The needs of others are more important

I deserve to receive no

I receive easily no

I have to give before receiving

I am allowed to receive even if I have not given before no

I must always give my share of what I earn

I am unique no

Others are better than me

Through this project I will be drawn into the system

Through this project I will become a victim of the system

Through this project I will be made to pay a contribution to the system

Through this project I will become a cog in the system

Through this project I will become too visible

Uniqueness is a weakness in the system

A few days later the project is resumed, but things are still going poorly for me, I still have work to do...