April 8, 2023 - I work on programs related to the wound of abandonment

 

Yesterday my husband told me that he had to return to a client to repair an appliance on his day off, Saturday, a day when I was waiting for an acquaintance to bring us a dairy order and I was relying on him to carry it 200 m through the snow to my house. I had had a full day and I was out of my mind. I simply snapped, I got angry with him, I didn't want to talk on the phone anymore, I wrote all kinds of things to him on chat about how he always leaves me alone, that I have to manage alone when it's hard and all kinds of things that I thought he missed. A behavior of a small child that I will explain before telling you what programs I worked on.

According to Lise Bourbeau's book "The 5 Wounds That Don't Let Us Be Ourselves", between 1 and 3 years old, in the relationship with the parent of the opposite sex, children can experience the wound of abandonment, a wound that makes them like adults desperate for attention, to do anything to receive it, they feel abandoned, abandoned, they always feel the need to be given attention, they desperately seek attention including through threats or childish actions, they dramatize things, they always seek affection and their greatest fear is loneliness. I found myself over 90% in the description in Lise's book. At the age of 1 year, my parents had some big problems in the family, they had to take me temporarily to grow up in the country with my grandparents. There I had a loving and healthy environment, but the trauma from 1 year seems not to have been forgotten. After they brought me back home at 4 years old, I felt abandoned by the grandparents I had gotten used to, then I felt abandoned by my parents at kindergarten... in short, the trauma followed me all my life, my husband having to endure in this context some monstrous bouts of jealousy when we were at the beginning of our relationship. Things settled down a bit, I understood where I was going wrong, I tried to control myself, but sometimes, like yesterday, I still let out an uncontrolled "scandal". And it is a known fact that when you overreact to a situation, you usually do it because of a deep trauma that has marked you and that controls you.

Yesterday I realized while talking to him and rereading the messages that I was a classic case of abandonment - the way I spoke and reacted matched this trauma perfectly. So I decided to control her, not her me. I started rereading Lise's book and extracted all the programs I could identify related to abandonment trauma. I found 47 programs, of which, after testing, I discovered that I had 40...the 7 were also known, but I had worked with them before.

Here are the programs I extracted from the book and then tested on myself:

I am dependent on my loved ones

I am dependent on my husband

I feel abandoned

I feel abandoned

My body lacks tone due to the abandonment wound

I am a victim (worked on before, it came out with no, so it's OK)

I have enough NO's

I dramatize things

I like to receive attention

I always need support (it came out with no, so it's OK)

I am afraid of loneliness (although I worked on it before, it came out with yes again)

I am dependent on affection (it came out with no, so it's OK)

Everything I do is to receive affection (OK and that)

I have a hard time accepting a refusal

I am a persistent person

I am manipulative

My biggest fear is loneliness

I cling to others to get their attention

I'm afraid of being abandoned

I'm a sad person

My most intensely experienced emotion is sadness

I'm afraid of authorities (it failed, it worked before, so it's OK)

I'm afraid of authoritarian people

I suffer from the wound of abandonment (it worked before, it failed, a little upset with the result, but if it worked, it's OK to fail - that is, I removed this program, but not its essence)

I feel like everyone is abandoning me

I have to rely only on myself

When my husband calls me, I feel important

I need to feel important

I'm afraid that my loved ones will leave me

I'm afraid of being rejected

Sometimes I accept what I don't want just to feel loved, wanted, or important

I'm afraid of not meeting the expectations of others

I always have enough NO

I fear a future spent alone (it turned out OK, probably worked before)

I am hysterical

I feel helpless

I live in the shadow of those I love

My father activated my abandonment wound

I forgive my father for the abandonment wound NO

Life is full of abandonment

My abandonment wound was activated when I was left in the country with my grandparents at the age of one

I cry easily

I like to attract pity

I physically cling to my husband

I am fine alone NO

I like to be independent NO

I always seek the attention of others

Lise says that this wound can be resolved in 4 stages: 1. Awareness, 2. Revolt against the situation, 3. Suffering, resentment, 4. Healing

I have reached the last stage. I replace these programs with unconditional love and the following:

I am an independent person

I allow myself to be independent

I deserve to be independent

I enjoy being independent

It feels good to be independent

I allow myself to be independent

I deserve to be independent

I can be independent and be with those I love

I can be independent and be with those I love

I feel good about myself

I feel good in my body

I feel good in my life

I have a beautiful and toned body

I always have enough

I always have enough

I know for sure that my loved ones will always be by my side

I know that my loved ones love me

I know that my loved ones consider me important

I know that my loved ones love me the way I am

I know that my loved ones will always be by my side

I am a cheerful person

My most intensely experienced emotion is love

I am a joyful person

I am a happy person

I know that authoritarian people cannot affect me

I can choose who to grant authority to

I am important in myself

I am an important person

I feel important in my life

I am good with myself

I know that I am safe to refuse what I do not want and that I can be loved, desired or important as I am

I am always at or above the expectations of others

I always have enough

I am a cheerful, happy, fulfilled, calm, relaxed person

I am good with myself

I am good in my life

I am good with the way I am

I love my father

I forgive my father for the wound of abandonment

I understand my father

I feel love and compassion for my father

I am good and alone

I like being independent

Those in my life love me as I am

I also asked for the recovery of soul fragments, the healing of the wounded soul and I sent unconditional love to the child in the womb.

During the program replacement session, as I was listening to the recorded meditation on my phone, another idea came to me...but what if my healing and my transformation into an independent person who no longer clings to loved ones and no longer suffocates them affects my husband whose rejection wound I identified. If that makes him feel rejected...off, I have to clear that too.

I recorded a new session in which I asked for the clearing of the following programs:

I am afraid that the healing of my wounds will not affect my husband

I am afraid that the healing of my abandonment wound will not exacerbate my husband's rejection wound

I am afraid that the healing of my abandonment wound will not make my husband feel abandoned and unimportant by not clinging to him anymore.

I replaced them with the following programs:

Both my husband and I are independent individuals who can live and enjoy our own lives, each in his own body, in his own life, and also together as a couple

We are okay, both my husband and I to live our own lives, each with our own passions, and together as a couple

Healing my wounds will accelerate the healing of my husband's wounds

As above, I asked for the recovery of soul fragments, the healing of the wounded soul, and I sent unconditional love to the child in the womb, both to me and to my husband.

So far, this is the most complex session I have worked with - I sighed a lot during the meditation, and now as I write. I say it helped me. We move forward. I feel like I have escaped a burden that I have been carrying for 40 years.